Questions you may be asking

How to help others grieve

My spouse doesn’t display any emotion and won’t talk about it. How can I get him to grieve? 
He is grieving, but has a different style from what you are accustomed to hearing about. Perhaps he is an instrumental griever who displays little emotion but works out grief in more linear ways. 
 

My sister seems so sad. It’s been a year. Isn’t she supposed to get angry before she can move on? 
Not necessarily, as people grieve in different ways and at different paces. The idea that she must move through a stage of anger is outmoded. See if you can help her talk about her experience while you listen without any prescriptions about what she should be doing. 

 

My best friend’s brother committed suicide. I don’t know what to say to her. 
There is nothing you can say that will make this okay and no explanation you can offer that will make it make sense. If you can just be there for her to listen and walk with her, you will do more than many friends will be able to. Ask her to tell you how you can be of the most help. 

 

I am worried about my friend’s drinking. She lost her job and now she can’t pay her mortgage, and her best friend moved away. She drinks every day.  
Drinking and drugging are very effective when it comes to temporary pain relief, but they backfire quickly and get in the way of grieving. See what you can do to help her learn more about grief like this and how to get through it.

The information on this site is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. Go to Resources for options.

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© 2017 by Carolyn B. Healy. All rights reserved.