Waves of Grief

Support

 

Everybody wants me to go to a support group since my son died. But I don’t like groups and I can’t stand the thought of talking about him in front of strangers. 
You are the only one who can decide whether and when to go to a support group, but let me tell you some of the potential benefits. In a catastrophic loss like yours, others who have experienced the same thing may actually be easier to talk to than people in your daily life. Even if you went and didn’t say a word, you would hear how others are finding their way through. If you eventually decide to share, you would experience the great gift of being heard and understood. If going to a face-to-face group seems impossible, perhaps finding an online chat room of other grieving parents could be a good first step for you.

​

Why has my best friend disappeared now when I need him? I can’t believe he’d abandon me like this.

Some people, as close as they are, cannot handle grief. They may think it’s their job to make you feel better but don’t know what to say, or have untouched grief of their own that they are afraid to ignite, or are good at avoiding what is uncomfortable. It may be necessary to look to others who can be there for you for now, and hope that your friend can inch closer over time.

​

If you choose, you can start a conversation about what you’d like from him, but with no expectations, as he may not even know why he is staying away.