Questions you may be asking
I know that losing my job is not nearly as bad as someone dying but it really set me back. I mean, it’s only a job, and I can get another one. I should be able to bounce back.
You can’t compare one loss with another and talk yourself out of your feelings. When you lost your job you lost income, security, a part of your identity, contact with people you are used to seeing every day, and probably much else. All of these secondary losses mount up and make the loss harder than you might expect. You will bounce back best if you acknowledge all of those losses and work to meet all those needs in new ways.
Why is grieving so complicated?
Each time we grieve, we grieve for multiple layers of losses which may bring complications of many kinds that test us to grow and expand our understanding of ourselves and life. No loss is as simple as it looks at first.
Throughout this site you will find mention of the timing of losses (when several follow each other in a short span of time), what happens when a loss can’t be acknowledged (disenfranchised grief), or when what is lost is partly still here (ambiguous loss). Those and other complications like trauma, regret, or avoidance take time and energy to resolve, and we need to be as patient and realistic as we can.