Waves of Grief

Why is this so hard?

 

The short answer is that each time we grieve, we grieve for multiple layers of losses which may bring complications of many kinds. These

complications test us to grow and expand our understanding of ourselves and life. Here are some seldom-discussed examples:

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Grief is bad enough when it is lived out in the open with encouragement and comfort from support people who wish you well. It is at its worst when it goes underground as disenfranchised grief that cannot be openly acknowledged. This happens when the relationship is not acknowledged, or the loss is not recognized (as in early miscarriage or infertility), or the grieving person is overlooked. Heightened misery comes in anger or powerlessness and isolation.

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When a loved one is physically present but psychologically absent, (Alzheimer's Disease, brain injuries, etc.) or physically absent but psychologically present (missing, geographically distant, etc.), it is called an Ambiguous Loss, which complicates grieving.