Blog: Riding the Waves of Grief

On grief, resilience, and healing

The Legacy of a Young Man

At first, we think our loved one who has died is gone from us forever. His absence seems all that is left behind, and it occupies all the space around us. Because we can no longer touch him or hear his voice, we fear that his influence on us and on the world is gone. But then, with every day, with every conversation, every reminder of what he loved – a sunset, a joke he used to tell, his favorite song – some of his absence turns back to presence. We settle into an uncertain hope that he is still here, but in a new way. And then, after a while, we start to notice that those reminders cause us more comfort than pain. We hope that others will mention his name, share a memory, show us that he is

A healing idea for Mother's Day

Your mother probably wants to hear from you – even if she lives next door, even if she lives half a world away, even if you haven’t spoken in decades. She probably wants to hear from you – you know the particulars better than I do. In any case, it’s an interesting and revealing exercise to see what you’d have to say. If she’s no longer alive on earth, she is still alive in your mind – her phrases come to mind, in fact they come out of your mouth. In my case, whenever I say ‘Bless your heart,” it’s her, and she’s been gone for almost 15 years. And she remains present in your thoughts, at first constantly and later, as grieving proceeds, intermittently. It also doesn’t matter if you are/were o

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© 2017 by Carolyn B. Healy. All rights reserved.

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