How many times have we heard that a cancer patient has declared that they wouldn’t change a thing, because living with the diagnosis has unleashed life-changing clarity and wisdom? From afar, this attitude sounds too good to be true. How is it that the turn of mind and heart that accompanies a life-threatening illness can actually be so good for us? It feels at first like putting a false positive spin on a life-threatening illness, reaching for a feel-good result; those cancer patients making lemonade out of lemons. Let’s compare that with what we encounter in grieving. How often do we hear about a grieving person declaring that they wouldn’t change a thing about the loss, because the loss u
In the days between loss of a loved one and the funeral or memorial there is much to be done. The family assembles photos to trace Grandma’s path through life. Arrangements are made for wake, funeral, luncheon, flowers; donation suggestions are decided. Friends call other friends to be sure they have heard. Any and all may be on social media to honor the memory of the person who has died. It is a busy time, punctuated by searing moments of recognition about what is over and what is ahead. For many families and friends, it is a time of mobilization and unity. But for many, dread collects as the wake and funeral days approach. Those days, the busy distractions are be done, and the recognition
