Blog: Riding the Waves of Grief

On grief, resilience, and healing

The toughest question for a griever to answer: How are you doing?

Your friend calls to ask: How can I help you today? Or Let’s do something together today – what should it be? You may not love the questions, and the first answer in your head may be something touchy like Who says I need help? Or How do you know that I want to do something with you – or anyone – today? Or, even more crankily, I can’t even decide whether to take a shower and you want me to plan your day? You probably don’t say it out loud, because underneath your discomfort, you know that your friend means well. In fact, those concrete questions may feel easier to answer than the more frequent (and equally well-meaning) one, How are you doing? which on a tough day can sound like a demand for

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© 2017 by Carolyn B. Healy. All rights reserved.

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